Books & Influences

 by The Arbinger Institute

   This book introduced me to the concept of self-deception—the tendency to justify our own behavior while blaming others for the results. Often it begins with something small: a moment when we feel the impulse to help someone and then choose not to. To make that decision feel acceptable, we unconsciously start seeing the other person as difficult, lazy, or undeserving.

   The book also introduced the idea of being “in the box,” which describes the moment we begin seeing another person as an obstacle or a problem instead of as a human being. What we genuinely feel toward people matters more than the tone we use or the words we choose. People can sense when our concern for them is real and when it isn’t, and that difference shapes the outcome of almost every interaction.

 by Don Miguel Ruiz

   This book presents a simple framework for living with greater personal freedom and integrity. Drawing on ideas from the Toltec tradition, Don Miguel Ruiz explains how many of our struggles come from unconscious agreements we’ve made with ourselves and with society about who we are and how we should behave. By becoming aware of those agreements, we gain the ability to question them and choose new ones that better reflect our true values.

   The four principles themselves are straightforward but powerful: be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. Together they encourage honesty in communication, humility in relationships, curiosity instead of judgment, and compassion toward ourselves when we inevitably fall short. The simplicity of these ideas makes them easy to remember, but applying them consistently can transform the way we relate to both ourselves and the people around us.

 by Michael Easter

   This book explores the idea that many of the problems people experience in modern life stem from living in environments that are far more comfortable than those our bodies and minds evolved for. Michael Easter argues that humans are built to face challenges—physical effort, uncertainty, hunger, cold, and other forms of temporary discomfort—and that removing these experiences entirely can lead to anxiety, restlessness, and a lack of meaning.

   The book also brought a lot of attention to rucking—walking with weight in a backpack—as a simple way to reintroduce challenge and movement into daily life. After reading it, my boss started rucking and encouraged others in his life to try it. That’s what got me started as well, and it quickly became one of my favorite ways to combine exercise, time outdoors, and reflection. It’s a simple practice that perfectly illustrates the book’s central idea: growth often begins when we voluntarily step outside our comfort zone.

 by James Nestor

   This book explores the surprising role that breathing plays in our health, energy, and overall well-being. Drawing on scientific research as well as ancient breathing traditions, James Nestor explains how modern habits—such as chronic mouth breathing and shallow respiration—can negatively affect sleep, anxiety, posture, and physical performance. The book shows that something as simple and automatic as breathing has a far greater impact on the body than most people realize.

   For me, this book helped connect the breathing practices I had already begun exploring with a deeper scientific understanding of why they work. It also introduced me to the Tibetan Rites, a simple series of movements sometimes described as a form of moving meditation. Practicing them became the starting point for my own yoga journey and opened the door to a deeper interest in breath, movement, and embodiment.

 by Wim Hof

   This book explores the connection between breathing, cold exposure, and the body’s ability to regulate stress and inflammation. Wim Hof describes how controlled breathing techniques, combined with deliberate exposure to cold, can help people influence parts of their physiology that were long believed to be outside conscious control. The ideas are supported by both personal experimentation and a growing body of scientific research into the nervous and immune systems.

   For me, this book reinforced the idea that the body and mind are far more adaptable than we often assume. Practices like breathwork and cold exposure became simple ways to train resilience and awareness in everyday life. Like rucking in The Comfort Crisis, it’s another reminder that deliberately stepping into controlled discomfort can strengthen both the body and the mind.

 by Bruce H. Lipton

   This book explores the relationship between our beliefs, perceptions, and the biology of our bodies. Drawing from his background in cellular biology, Bruce Lipton argues that the environment a cell experiences—including the signals it receives from the mind and nervous system—can influence how genes are expressed. The idea challenges the common assumption that our biology is entirely predetermined and instead suggests that our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences play a meaningful role in shaping our physical health and well-being.

   For me, this book was one of the first that helped bridge the gap between science and the more intuitive or spiritual ideas I had been exploring. It suggested that the mind and body are not separate systems but deeply interconnected parts of a larger whole. That perspective opened the door for me to consider how changing the way we think, perceive, and relate to our experiences might influence not only our psychology but our biology as well.

by Gabor Maté

   In this book, Gabor Maté explores how many of the emotional and physical struggles people experience are not simply personal failures but understandable responses to the environments and experiences that shape us. He argues that what our culture often considers “normal” can actually be deeply unhealthy, and that trauma, stress, and emotional disconnection can quietly influence our behavior, relationships, and even our physical health.

   For me, this book deepened my understanding of how important it is to acknowledge our inner emotional landscape. It reinforced the idea that healing and personal growth often begin with recognizing the patterns we’ve developed in response to life’s challenges. By bringing awareness and compassion to those patterns, we create the possibility of responding to our experiences more consciously instead of simply reacting to them.

by Brené Brown

   In this book, Brené Brown explores the human need for belonging and the courage required to remain true to ourselves. She argues that true belonging does not come from changing who we are to fit in with others, but from having the courage to stand in our own values and beliefs—even when doing so feels uncomfortable or isolating. The “wilderness” she describes is that space where we are willing to be authentic rather than conforming just to be accepted.

   For me, this book reinforced the idea that personal growth requires honesty—not just with ourselves, but with the world around us. It highlighted how integrity and courage often go hand in hand, and how meaningful connection with others begins when we’re willing to show up as we truly are instead of hiding behind the versions of ourselves we think people want to see.

by Byron Katie

   In this book, Byron Katie introduces a simple method of self-inquiry she calls “The Work.” The process involves examining the thoughts and beliefs that cause us stress and asking a series of questions that help reveal whether those thoughts are actually true. The practice encourages people to look directly at the stories they tell themselves about their lives, their relationships, and their circumstances.

   For me, this book reinforced the powerful idea that much of our suffering comes from unquestioned thoughts rather than from reality itself. Learning to pause and examine those thoughts creates space for a different perspective and often a greater sense of peace. It echoes a theme that appears in many of the other influences on this list: we don’t always have to believe everything our minds tell us.

by Michael Pollan

   In this book, Michael Pollan explores the history, science, and cultural impact of psychedelic substances. Through a combination of journalism, scientific research, and personal exploration, he describes how compounds like psilocybin and LSD have been studied for their potential to help people confront depression, addiction, anxiety, and other deeply rooted patterns of thought. Pollan presents the topic with curiosity and caution, grounding the conversation in both neuroscience and psychology.

   For me, this book helped reframe the role psychedelics could play in personal growth. Instead of seeing them as recreational experiences or curiosities, Pollan’s work suggested that they could be approached more intentionally—as tools for self-exploration and transformation when used thoughtfully and with respect. That perspective helped shape how I later approached my own experiences and the insights that followed.